If Easter Had A First Newspaper Article

The Roman Times Online

Arrested Nazarene called Jesus Christ

Nazarene Man Tried and Sentenced to Death

Posted by: Marebethimus, writer of The Roman Times

Time: Friday evening.

     Early in the midnight hours this morning, a band of soldiers and members belonging to both the High Priest and the Pharisees were led to a spot near the Kidron Brook called the Gethsemane Gardens, where they arrested a Nazarene man called Jesus Christ. While most of his followers, called “disciples,” were non-violent and soon fled the scene of the arrest, one disciple grabbed a sword and attacked the High Priest’s servant named Malchus. Witnesses to the incident claim that the Nazarene leader calmed the attacker and miraculously attached Malchus’ severed body part, which eye witnesses say was his right ear.

     The Nazarene was arrested and taken to first Annas, the father-in-law of the High Priest named Caiaphas, who then advised the prisoner to be taken to a meeting room to be questioned by the High Priest and a council of scribes and elders. In a weird, bizarre scenario, the person who initially aided the arrest of the Nazarene, who eye witnesses say was a fellow disciple named Judas, was found dead not too long after the arrest of his leader. While most would suspect homicide from one of the other followers, a source close to The Roman Times say an anonymous tipper informed officials after noticing a distraught man tie a rope across a tree and proceeded to hang himself. The man, Judas, was pronounced dead when officials arrived on scene. In addition, another claimed follower, Peter, whom eye witnesses say was Malchus’ attacker, was seen outside of the High Priest’s court shouting obscenities to stragglers who were accusing him of being one of the Nazarene’s disciples.

     After being questioned by the council and the High Priest, the Nazarene called Jesus Christ was charged with blasphemy and taken to the Governor, Pilate, for a death sentencing.  While leaving the House of Caiaphas, eye witnesses say the accused man had cuts and bruises upon him, and claim they heard members of the council laugh as they verbally confirmed the private attacks amongst the other council members. After questioning the Nazarene of his charges, Governor Pilate could not find a solid reason to sentence death upon the man and, upon finding out that the accused had resided in Galilee, ordered the accused to be taken to King Herod. The King Herod, too, could find no particular reason to condemn the Nazarene and was ordered to be sent back to Governor Pilate. Thinking that the council only wanted some sort of punishment for the accused, Governor Pilate ordered the Nazarene to be scourged and released.

     Despite suffering the severe inflictions of the scourging, punishment of death was still sought, however, feeling that there was no cause of death, Governor Pilate placed the accused on display before the public, so that they could demand his freedom over another criminal named Barabbas, who was charged with starting a rebellion and convicted of another’s death. Unfortunately, a stir was in the crowd, and the riled public nominated the murderer, Barabbas, over the religious teacher, Jesus Christ. As is a Roman option for death, Jesus Christ, the Nazarene, was later crucified with two other criminals in the afternoon and shortly died around 3 P.M. To confirm his death, a centurion soldier was ordered to run a spear into the Nazarene’s side, which eye witnesses say poured both water and blood from the wound. Sources say the Nazarene rabbi was later laid to rest in a Tomb owned by Joseph of Arimathea, a fellow council member of the High Priest. Fellow disciples of the Nazarene rabbi declined to speak with The Roman Times, and the mother of the Nazarene asked everyone to let them all have privacy to grieve their loss.

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The Earth Experiencing Bizarre Events

     While most of the public was consumed with the speedy arrest, trial, and death of the infamous Nazarene rabbi called Jesus Christ, at around 12 P.M. today cities near Rome experienced severe darkness of the sun, where individuals were left with no sunlight for three hours. Moreover, at around 3 P.M., a sudden earthquake damaged nearby roads and buildings, most notably the Jewish Temple, whose curtains were said to have been ripped in half during the earthquake. Some are calling this a mere coincidence with the events of today’s arrest, sentencing, and death of the Nazarene rabbi, but most are saying this is an act of the Jewish God, and proves the authority of the man most people called Christ or Messiah!

Related Sources:

Matthew 26: 36-69, 27: 1-61

Mark 14: 32-72, 15: 1-47

Luke 22: 39-71, 23:1-56

John 18:1-40, 19: 1-42